Love Thy Neighbor

When I called Kensico Cemetery...

Jodi answered my call:

This is highly unusual. I need to pull the ticket for these plots.

None of the empty plots are assigned.

I know, that is why I am calling.
My uncle, Herb Cohen, is ill and he asked me to arrange for his plot so that when the time comes we will not have to rush for signatures - like we did for my mother.

I have to pull the hard copy. Will you hold?

(LONG pause)

There are 6 lots, each with 4 plots, so you should have 20 plots left to assign, but it says here that 2 of the lots are not to be used. That means 8 plots are to remain empty. You can only use 12 more plots. Didn't you say that there are 6 children? There may not be room for your uncle if all the children have spouses and want to be buried together.

Why are there only 12 plots? There should be 13 available.

No, 12,  Bob and Linda and Helen and Saul are in 4 of them.

Excuse me? I don't understand? Who is Helen?

She is buried in plot 1 of lot yyy and Saul is in plot 3 of lot yyy.

Is it Heli Scheuer???

Yes, Helen Scheuer is in plot 1.

Are you sure?? 

I went through this when my mother died and I was told 1,2 and 4 in plot yyy were empty!

I am sure. I am looking at the ticket - not the computer.

(pause)

  

So, Helen is buried next to Linda?

(This was a moment that I will always remember. I am not a deeply religious woman, but I was never as sure as I was at that moment that the spirit stays connected to the body, at least for a while, and I had authorized my mother to be buried next to Heli - and I still don't remember if they got along or not.)

That's not what I was told, but let's figure out how to make it all work.

First, I don't think all my cousins will want to be buried there because it is not a Jewish Cemetery.

They will all have to sign off on that.

Yes, I understand.

Amy could be buried in plot 2 of yyy between Saul and her mother Helen?

Yes, I recommend that Herb is buried in plot 4, so that we don't break up another lot.

That way husbands can be buried next to wives.

He will be on the end and there is no one next to him.

(I decide not to mention that Herb is married to a man who wants to be cremated and that there is no room for Dan in this plan.)

Who owns the lot next to yyy on Herb's side?

(I am not making the same mistake twice.)

No one, there are trees.

Who owns the lots below us?

There is a path. In fact, there is no one to the left of plot xxx either. Maybe that is why your uncle designated that no one is to be buried in the two other lots because that would make this area completely private.

It's very pretty there. I believe there is a view of the lake.

(pause)

(My mind is moving very quickly now.)

When were these plots purchased?

November 3, 1978.

(The day after Bob died. The day of the funeral and burial.)

Were there plots available in the Jewish Cemetery then or was it too full to buy this many plots?

Oh, there are still plots, but it is much prettier where you are.There are holly trees and crab apple trees.

It looks like a park. Sharon Gardens, the Jewish Cemetery is next to the entrance and the road.

Thank you. I will let my cousins know how to proceed in designating Amy and Herb's plots.

________________________________________________________

My mind started to slow as I thanked Jodi and began to consider this news.Uncle Bud imagined eternity with a beautiful view and a spot away from the road. The beauty of this setting trumped my Conservative Jewish uncle's religious mandate for all of us to be buried in a Jewish Cemetery. Perhaps the two lots that provide us our "private area" gives a buffer for our own Jewish Cemetery? Perhaps a Rabbi blessed this area? I don't really think so. I think Bud wanted the most beautiful spot. He designed our family's eternity.

xoxo,

Bob's Daughter