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I stood on the playground, under an oak tree
and wanted to scream.
The lawyer, holding her one year old,
fast asleep in her arms, just told me that at the Waldorf School,
"You know, they don't want you to wear black."
As I was about to respond, another mother sitting on the geodesic dome said,
"I'll give you an example of why they feel that way. My son was in kindergarten and he came home upset and said to me, 'My teacher always wears black! I want to see color!'
Kids just really want color around them."
I stood paralyzed.
The phrase, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all" came to mind. I was silent, standing there in my black v-neck t-shirt, black underskirt with an over-skirt of black, white and gray mesh.
Finally I said,
"I guess I just don't feel that way.
I teach art history and it's all part of a spectrum."
"Do you teach kindergarten?"
"No, I teach college."
"Well then, black and gray are appropriate for that."
She looked at my clothing and smiled.
WOW, my brain was spinning.
I wanted to say that "The colonization of the body should not be encouraged and the fact that your son is taught to believe that he has the right to decide what his teacher should wear is inappropriate. A five year old is in school to learn."
Instead I looked at her, acknowledged her opinion with a nod and looked away. I felt like there should be a big bubble over my head saying, "one if these things is not like the others".
This is when it became even more interesting...
A friend of mine from graduate school had invited me to the park that day
and she jumped in, sensing the tension.
"Emily doesn't discriminate against colors. All colors are important for her."
This seemed to placate everyone or at least give us all a chance to move on.
I can't stop thinking about this sentence, "Emily doesn't discriminate against colors."
It could be the early 1960's on the same playground and instead of wearing black
I might have a black friend? I need to think about this more.
Respectfully,
Bob's Daughter
I don't know what I would have said BUT I can feel this scene for you. I wish I was there because you felt lonely. I think I might not have been diplomatic like you were...
ReplyDeleteOpportunities to subvert the dominant idiocy exist in so many everyday moments...we just need to choose which ones make sense to confront, and which one we need shrug off. It can be exhausting to talk through each mind-shrinking remark at every playground encounter - so pick your battles. Good to have allies, no matter what.
ReplyDeleteLet's back up a bit.
ReplyDeleteIf X's son didn't like his teacher's clothing color and was able to change it, when he grows up and doesn't like someone's religion/eye color/nose ring/hairy bottom/country of origin/politics etc.. is he going to try and change that too?
It seems the nice folks over at the Waldorf School could use a little spectrum.