"Never let yourself forget who you are." Chuck Jones, my mentor told me that. It is one of the best pieces of advice I have ever heard.

Great advice when so many of us wear different hats. I find it can be hard to keep track of myself. For example, I see someone whom I haven't seen in a few years, I am with one of my twin daughters and the person says, "Is this your daughter?" I may pause, because to me it is obvious, but this person has had a lapse in time in my story. This is a moment to catch up on each others lives. Recently, I heard a less pleasant version, "Did you birth those babies?" I was silent for a moment. There is actually no answer to this question that is polite. I simply state, "Yes." Inside I think of loudly saying, "No, you bitch, I ordered them from a catalog." Instead, I try to move on and ignore whatever she says next. (If I had adopted these children I still would detest this statement.) This is one example of remembering who I am. Yes, I am a new mother, no I don't have to be spoken to like that, and lastly I hope at 43 years old I have the control not to make a scene.

Yet, Chuck meant this in a different light when he said it. He said this to me when I was afraid to make a change in my life - a big change. He knew that I could do this because he held a piece of me in his heart and memory that could make these changes. I felt fragile that day. He gave me a bit of myself back and asked me not to let it go - to remember myself. I am remembering this conversation now as I prepare to make more changes. I don't always remember my strength, but I remember Chuck.

xoxo,
Bob's Daughter
aka Emily